Whew!

We are getting there!!!  I think we are getting close to the point where we can be adjusted to the "new normal" around here.  Maybe...

Just as we thought everything was going smoothly, the clinic where mom's doctors were closed!  Yes closed! Shut their doors!  All of the doctors, nurses and staff were fired with 5 days notice!  So, we have found a new PCM and are kind of sitting back and waiting to see where all of her specialists land.  Hopefully we can still see at least a few of them (we are up to 7 doctors now...maybe 8 soon!).  Taking her meds has continued to be a struggle, so I finally made the decision to have someone come in and give them to her.  This has been such a relief.  I don't have to check her pills when we visit, we can just visit!  We do however have to pay for it, and right now, that is the stress point for me.  I am trying to figure out how I can pay for this and everything else.  I really hope my sister and brothers will actually help out there!

 

While it seems like all I have done is take care of my mom for the last 7 months, we have had a little bit of fun time!  I won't take the time to do a post on everything, but I will give a few highlights!

• In January and February, Little TD played basketball with Upward.  He had an absolute blast and he actually has a little bit of natural talent!  Yeah, he gets that from his dad!



All ready for his first game!

• Princess TD continued this year with ballet.  She is improving all the time.  I love to see how her attitude and posture changes when she puts on the black leotard and pink tights.  It is amazing to see how poised she becomes!  She will be moving up a grade and taking ballet 2 nights a week and modern 1 night a week (thankfully modern is on a ballet night!).  I can't wait to see how much fun she has!



Just before Exams



Butterfly at Dress Rehearsal



• In January we took a family vacation and met my aunt and uncle at Disney World!  We stayed a week.  It. Was. So. Much. Fun.  Little TD said that he wanted to fly home, change out the clothes in his suitcase and come right back!  I think my aunt and uncle were a bit weary by the end of it...they may need more of a break than that!  Ever since I was a little girl, my uncle has been trying to get me to ride roller coasters with him.  I can remember standing in front of the Wabash Cannonball at Opryland at about 9 years old and refusing to go on it with him.  Well, he got his wish!  I finally rode a coaster with him...Expedition Everest.  It was so much fun!  We rode it 2 more times!  Maybe next time I won't be as congested and we can do a few more!

• Little TD finished Kindergarten and has moved right in to 1st grade.  He seems to be keeping up and wanting to learn more and more every day!  He just adores building with Legos, and is always asking to get more.  He wants more sets of course, but mostly he wants more "creation" Legos (as he calls them) so he can build from his imagination!  He does very well with that.  It may be time to look into some Lego robotics for him in another year or so...when he's old enough!
• Princess TD is almost finished with 3rd grade. Somehow we have finished some of the subjects, but not all of them...I am not sure where we got so far off in the schedule.  We just need to finish up a little bit of history, learning about the Wright brothers.  How can I not finish that and take the opportunity to discuss flow over the wing, wind tunnels and their experiments with air flow, and all of the things about fluid dynamics that make me giddy!
• Princess TD is till involved in American Heritage Girls.  She completed her 3rd year as a Tenderheart and her Sacagawea Level Award.  She has moved up to Explorer and she is already working on badges and service hours!  I will be moving up with her as I take over as the Explorer Unit Leader. 



She's an Explorer now!

• Our year of activities is technically over.  AHG is done.  Ballet is done. Whew!

Then summer starts.

• Both Princess TD and Little TD participated in a VBS last week. It was an old school VBS and they love it!  I got some nice time with my girlfriends, almost uninterrupted!  (Love ya Coop...you are so cute!)
• This week they are both in basketball camp.  They are both having fun and I think learning new skills.  Little TD told me today that he just needs to grow just 1 more inch and then he can dunk!  Yeah, well, he plays on a 6 ft. goal!  Princess TD, bless her heart, plays like her Mommy!  Although with Daddy coaching her at home, she will likely have me beat very quickly!

Well, those are just a few things that have been going on here.  Even with all of the turmoil, we are still taking time as a family and having fun!

Changes

It has been quite a while since I have posted anything here and for good reason.  We have been going through some changes, some positive and some, well, not so much.

Shortly after my last post, I began looking at senior living communities to see how much they cost and whether or not my mom could afford to live in one.  You see, after her diagnosis of metastatic bladder cancer, the resulting surgery and the 4 months of chemotherapy, she really was not able to live on her own.  My sister was gracious enough to let her live with her while her husband was serving in Afghanistan, but he was home.  Having a parent live with you is generally not good for your marriage, especially this parent!  And so began my search.  I searched based on the income my mom told me she was or would be receiving and found a place that was in her budget.  She moved into her new home in early December.

The first few weeks we spent several days a week there helping her to get adjusted.  Then Christmas came, and she stayed with us to celebrate Christmas morning with our family.  She was attending church with us and she seemed to be meeting people at her new place and jumping right in on the activities they have there.  We were and are all cautiously hopeful that we have made the right decision for her. 

Most of January and February has been spent going to doctor appointments to get her established with new care providers.  We found a great PCM, and then she left the practice just after our second visit, so we had to find another one.  We are now established with a new (new) PCM, an oncologist, a urologist, a cardiologist and have a new referral to a nephrologist.  We also have been referred to a neurologist to have testing completed to determine if there is something going on (or not going on) in her brain. 

This part has been pretty rough on my family (and my sister's family before mine). 

You see, none of us have had a great relationship with mom. Ever. This includes everyone in her life, not just her children.  But we have all noticed that she is "worse" than she has ever been.  She is not kind. She is not grateful. Frankly, most of the time she is downright rude and disrespectful to everyone around her.  This is hard to live with. Very hard!

I am the oldest of 4 children, but right now I feel the burden of caring for mom falling squarely on my shoulders alone.  My sister cared for her through her sickest days so far and managed beautifully.  However, she is a military wife of a wonderful military officer, and as military families do, it is time for them to move.  This is very scary for me because she will be gone.  We have become so close and though she’s just a phone call away, she won’t be able to hop in the car and be here if I need her.  Together we have made it through the last year together.  Yes, she had the burden of care, but she also knew I was just a phone call and a 3 hour(ish) car ride away.  They will be in Washington DC by the summer.  That is WAY more than 3 hours away! Both of my brothers live in Missouri; one drives an 18-wheeler for a living, and one works locally near their home.  They are both at least 14 hours away on a good day.

I am constantly thinking about mom’s financial future.  She has not made wise financial decisions in the past.  Through a misunderstanding, we now do not have enough income to make her monthly rent, let alone take care of the remaining bills for her house in St. Louis.  Currently my family is spending a significant amount of money out of our budget to care for her.  I don’t know how much longer we can do that without sacrificing the welfare of our little family.  At her current rate of spending, she will be out of her savings by the end of summer.  Then what?  I just pray her house sells before then.

That is another issue. Trying to get her house on the market and the stuff remaining in the house sold.  How?  What’s there?  Is there something special hidden, tucked away that would mean something to one of us?  My brothers have promised to help get the house ready, but frankly, I don’t trust that they will get it done in a timely manner.  Don’t misunderstand me. It is not that they don’t care, they do.  They have their families and their family activities and mom is “out of sight, out of mind” for them.  They don’t feel the crushing weight of the impending doom of mom running out of money.

It is the right thing to do, to take care of my mom.  Not just because she is my mom, but also because she is a widow.  As Christians, we are told to take care of the poor, the widows and the orphans.  Well my mom qualifies as both poor and a widow.  You see, if it weren’t for my father being killed in Vietnam, she would have almost no income and no medical insurance.  Here, 41+ years after his death, he is still taking care of her and providing for her future.  What a blessing that is for her! 

For us, taking care of her, is not an easy task.  This is a huge life lesson for all of us about doing what is right even when it is really hard!  We are learning how to make it through this one day at a time, one step at a time. 

Please pray for all of us.

Trick or Treat

We had a great night with some great friends last night.  We had a blast trick or treating and visiting.

Here is Princess TD as a bumblebee and Little TD as a Jedi.  It varied which Jedi he said he was, so I am still not sure which one he is here.

Little TD’s light saber actually lights up!  He loved that!  It reminds me of one day when I was home sick when Episode IV first came out way back when.  I was staying with my Grandma Siler for the day and she had to run to Stix, Baer and Fuller.  When we came up the escalator right at the top when we got off was a man dressed as Darth Vader complete with a lighted light saber.  He activated his light saber and then turned and spoke to me (all in the matter of a second or two) and I screamed!  It was very funny, but I was terrified at the time!  I have been watching for the return of the light up light sabers for Little TD.  I couldn’t believe they would deprive this generation of kids the cool stuff we had available as kids.  That was the most costly part of his costume this year, but he loves it!

Fall Leaves, Texas Style

Fall looks very different from what I grew up with in Missouri here in the piney woods of Texas.  My kids are missing out on the fun of raking the fallen leaves and jumping in the piles of leaves.  They won’t experience that here.  They have seen many shows and movies that have children playing in the raked leaves, so they are familiar with the tradition.  They decided this year to create their own version, Texas style!

Raking the pine needles….

and more raking….

and more raking!  We only have one pine tree, but it produces A LOT of pine needles!

Finally, they get to jump into the “leaves”… it was very short lived since the pine needles are very pointy and hurt when they stab you!

Then they cleaned up their pile.  They even did it without being asked!  Great helpers!

While all of our friends up north are enjoying raking and playing in real leaves, we will enjoy the shorts weather until Christmas!  Oh the joys of living in Texas!!